Thursday, October 06, 2005

It is Virtually Impossible to Run a Bakery Without Drug Money

So I have watched the rest of the season of Weeds.  It continues to improve.  By the ninth episode MLP’s Chicano muscle is putting the squeeze on Cash’s cartel and everything is starting to look more like The Wire than Desperate Housewives.  Not really but it is pretty entertaining.  Even though most of the characters are deeply annoying.

Also, I spent a large part of the day watching the Style network, as I always do in Connecticut.  I ran across a program I had seen before once or twice called The Modern Girl’s Guide to Life.  In it a largely attractive, multi-racial group of women learn to perform simple tasks which they compare to either sex or eating and then they become empowered since they know how to change doorknobs or purchase a digital camera.  It is basically the best show on television and features frequent re-captions which are usually 1.5 entendres (During a segment on golf: “Girls can also play with balls”).

Another great show is Clean House.  In it, these Style Network employees come into the houses of various pitifully deranged people and throw away most of their belongings.  The houses always look like a Sears threw up in them, and the male members of the household invariably have a large collection of Akira dolls and South Park merchandise.  They also usually have a garage sale, which is my favorite part because it exposes this sort of Sartre/Dickens underworld of the most pitiful people and events you could possibly imagine.  Picture a 40+ year old guy in a Motorhead t-shirt with profound sweat stains, leaning on a crudely duct-taped crutch and haggling bitterly over a ceramic elf-head (the lone remaining part of a set) which was originally priced at $1.75.  He has a stubbly beard because he just lost his home in a flood and some Laotians beat him up last time he tried to shave in the bathroom of the Texaco*.  Then closet expert Linda Koopersmith tells him that he looks adorable with the elf head and that the money is going to a good cause: making John and Melody’s house look like adults live in it.

* Mad love to the people of Laos – this is just describing a few bad eggs.

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